


Ampersand

by ExpressAndAdmirable



Series: The Heroes of Light [36]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Final Fantasy I
Genre: Angst, Backstory, F/F, First Love, Teenagers, Tiefling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpressAndAdmirable/pseuds/ExpressAndAdmirable
Summary: A scene from Aviva's first real relationship; specifically, how it ended.





	Ampersand

_“How about you? Have you been in a lot of love, or is Sol special?”_

_“Both, I think. Sol is very special, but I’ve been in love before. The first time was… my last year of school, so I was seventeen? Gods, she was my whole life. I had no idea what I was doing; we were barely more than children…”_

* * *

“Hey you.”

She stirred, pressing her nose into the hollow of Aviva’s shoulder. “Hey.”

Aviva smiled. Annamaria was always a bit irritable when she first woke up, regardless of the actual time of day. Only coffee would return her to her regular gentle self. It was something Aviva found utterly charming. She lifted her head from the pillow just enough to kiss the Half-Elf’s hair. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah.” It was not an entirely convincing response. She curled closer against Aviva’s side, resting her hand on the Tiefling’s stomach. “You?”

“Always.” It was true; in the months since she had met Annamaria, Aviva had slept better than she could ever remember, even when they were apart. Choosing to let the slight oddity in the Half-Elf’s tone slide for the time being, she tucked her free hand behind her pillow. “So, today. I was going to busk for at least part of it, but it looks like it’s going to rain. What do you want to do? We still have the house to ourselves, yeah?” Annamaria’s parents had left for Aelfheim the day before and were not due to return for two weeks. They travelled often, and the young lovers took advantage of every opportunity.

“Your mum’s going to miss you.”

Not the expected response. Aviva’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but she let the thought go. “She’s used to it by now. As long as I don’t skip school and don’t get arrested, she doesn’t have much reason to say boo.” She smirked, running her fingers along the Half-Elf’s hip. “We _could_ just stay in bed all day…” Annamaria caught her hand, stilling it against her side. Aviva frowned. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“What, because I don’t want to have sex right now?” Annamaria snapped.

The retort was harsh, even for pre-caffeination, and Aviva jerked her head in surprise. “No, that’s not what I meant, I…” She paused, noting the tension in her lover’s body, how she pressed herself against the Tiefling even as her words scorned her. She softened. “Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Annamaria sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be shitty. I just… have a lot on my mind.”

“Talking usually helps.” Aviva gave her a squeeze. “And interpretive dance can work in a pinch. Do you want to dance it out?”

Normally such a comment would elicit at least a giggle and a playful shove, but Annamaria merely snorted. “I do not, thank you.” For a few moments, a heavy silence fell over the room. Then she pushed herself up into a sitting position, her red-brown hair spilling over her shoulders. Aviva watched the smooth curve of her back, but when she reached out to touch the notches in Annamaria’s spine, she shook her head. “I can’t do this anymore.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Can’t do what?” Even through the haze of bewilderment, a coldness gripped Aviva’s heart.

“This. I can’t see you. I can’t… be with you anymore.”

Aviva swallowed hard. She sat up, drawing the blanket over her chest, suddenly feeling deeply exposed. “Anna, why? Last night… Where did this come from?”

Annamaria turned, tears streaming down her cheeks, her words flowing out in a rush. “I told my parents. I told them about you. They came back from Aelfheim and they were so excited, they told me they’d arranged a marriage, a _marriage_! To the daughter of some noble family over there. I don’t know, I guess they expected me to be excited too, it’s a big opportunity for my family; they were so confused when I said no. We had a big fight, and I told them I was in love with someone, and they asked who, and I told them about you, and– and…” Her breath caught in her throat. “I’ve never seen them so angry. They said such terrible things, and they said I couldn’t see you. They forbade it.” She closed her eyes. “At the end of the semester, they’re withdrawing me from the Academy and we’re moving to Aelfheim. They left again yesterday to make the arrangements. They weren’t even home two days.”

The air between them fell quiet, save for Annamaria’s muted sniffling. Aviva exhaled, slow and controlled, nodding her head as she processed the information. Cautiously, she reached for the Half-Elf’s hand, her heavy heart lifting just slightly as she took it. “What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?” she pled miserably. “I have no options. I’m going to Aelfheim and getting married. That’s it. It’s over.”

“It doesn’t have to be over. I could be your… what do you call it? Secondary?”

“In Aelfheim?” Annamaria reminded her with a raised brow, wiping her cheeks with the heel of her free hand. “It’s not exactly a short trip. Even if it wasn’t, the chances of getting that included in the arrangement are next to nil.” A sad smile ghosted across her face. “You deserve more than that.”

“Maybe… Maybe we could run away?”

“Run away.” Annamaria scoffed, meeting the Tiefling’s eye. “Where would we go? How would we live? And be honest, V, could you really leave your mum?” Aviva shifted uncomfortably, but did not answer. They paused. When Annamaria spoke again, her voice was very soft. “My parents lost their minds when they heard about you. No child of theirs will ever…” She trailed off. “I knew they didn’t like Tieflings, but I didn’t realise how much. It doesn’t matter. This can’t continue. It just… can’t.”

Aviva chewed her lip, her mind racing. “What if they met me? Maybe I could change their minds?”

Annamaria shook her head. “I tried that. It’s no use. They’re set in their ways. They made that abundantly fucking clear.” Her bitterness was palpable. She dropped her head, and when she looked up again, some of the light had gone out of her eyes. “So that’s it.”

“That’s it? Your parents say we’re done and we’re done?” Aviva gripped the Half-Elf’s hand more tightly, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. “Anna, this is ridiculous! I love you! You love me! That has to be worth something in this equation!”

“Not enough,” came the whispered reply.

Aviva’s stomach tightened. “How can you say that?”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Annamaria answered, her voice lifeless. “We’ve been so happy in our little cloud, but… Maybe it’s time we wake up.”

“Wake up?” Aviva repeated, incredulous. “Why do we need to wake up? Wake up from what? Is this suddenly some sort of dream?”

“This isn’t sustainable, V, and you know it. Sneaking around, renting rooms in taverns, waiting for our parents to be gone. For months we’ve been each other’s little secret, and given my parents’ reaction, we were right to keep it that way. I wouldn’t trade what we’ve had together for the world… But did we really think we could make this work?”

Aviva held her gaze, answering without hesitation: “Yes.”

“Well. I don’t.” Annamaria looked down as she withdrew her hand and folded it in her lap, the motion more crushing than any words.

“How can you do this?” Aviva murmured, forcing the words through the tension in her throat, fighting the tears that threatened the corners of her vision. “How can you just… give up on us?”

Her love shrugged, hopeless. “I have to.”

“For your family.”

Annamaria met her stare again, quiet desperation in her eyes. “Wouldn’t you do the same for yours?”

Aviva had never understood Annamaria’s family. The Lalauries had more money than half of Corneria, but they never seemed happy. Her parents must have been in love once; it was rare to see a Human man marry an Elven woman in that level of society. Half-children were more common among Aviva’s caste. But now their lives seemed built on business, including that of their daughter. She sighed. “I don’t know.”

The silence dragged on, deafening. Aviva could hear her blood pulsing in her ears, Annamaria’s carefully controlled breathing, the faint patter of rain against the windows, the full weight of reality settling on her shoulders. She opened her mouth to speak, found no words, closed it again. When she finally looked up, Annamaria’s eyes met hers, and the sorrow on her delicate features was too much to bear. “Anna please,” she begged, “I need you, I can’t lose you, I…” She bit her lip, but still the tears came. “No-one else will love me.”

Suddenly Annamaria’s hands were on her face, her lips frantically kissing the wetness from her cheeks even as she, too, wept. “No, Aviva, no! My beautiful angel, my fire. There will be so much more love for you. You’re magnificent and wonderful, a treasure, a glittering treasure. I promise, there will be so many people to love you, to fill you with song and carry your spirit, you won’t even remember me–”

“I’ll never forget you, Annamaria.”

Then the Half-Elf’s lips were on hers, breathless and desperate and tear-streaked, and together they fell backwards onto the bed.

When it was over, when they had shared their last sighs, Aviva dressed quickly. She did not look back.

There was nothing more to say.

**Author's Note:**

> Title song by Amanda Palmer.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at @expressandadmirable for a proper table of contents for the Heroes campaign, commissioned character art, text-based roleplay snippets and more!


End file.
